heeeeey, friends!
it feels like forever since i last blogged.
probably cause it has been.

BUT

I'm still here.

so this evening i had such a fun time with my girls!
they're both country music fans all the way.
so
when i heard lauren alaina was coming to town, i knew i needed to get us in on it.
(for those of you who aren't familiar with her, she was the runner up in last year's american idol contest.)
they were so excited!
it really was a treat.....for me too!

                                             ashlen and brooklen with lauren alaina's momma
                          

                                                   lauren alaina singing her heart out.........

                                                                    star struck......

                            this picture made me smile cause you can see her mom in the background here.
                            she was totally a mother hen....right there taking care of things.  but seriously, 
                            her daughter is only 17!!!  i can't imagine!  she said just last night lauren got her
                            phone taken for a few days.  i'm sure doing life on the road has to be a challenge!

happy monday to all of you!

Summer time....
It just has a way of flying by.

I thought I'd share a few snippets of our last little get away.
We spent most of the week at a cabin about an hour away.  It was the best time we've ever had there!  The kids are getting older and everyone just seemed to relax and enjoy themselves.

Ahslen loves to do little photo shoots, so she asked me to go on a walk with her to the lake where we were camping to snap some pictures.  I forgot to edit the pictures so you wouldn't have to turn your head....sorry.

I'm so proud of her! 

Kent's parents came and spent the night with us.  The kids really enjoyed having them there!

Dutch Blitz is something we always play there.  It's just a part of Camp Hebron for us. This is Kent's mom, Eleanor, spending time with Brooklen.

The girls and I took a hike up Peter's Mountain.  At first it was great!  Having girl talk....laughing about dumb stuff...and then the trail started getting harder, and yet we were determined to make it to the top.  Suffice it to say I wanted to deck some people there was a lot of mumbling by the time we got to the top!  It was pretty tough, and yet you know you've got to soon be there, and I'm just not toing to give up that easy, especially with Ashlen telling me what a great view it is at the top.

These pictures were snapped at the beginning.

Proud of her too!  :)  Of course, I'm proud of all of them.

Finally at the top.... Can you guess who had the attitude?

She cleaned it up for this one.  :)

Spent time on the lake.

Of course, a campfire....sticky fingers and all.

Had to take the guinea pig along.  (Brooklen's treasured friend)

Climbed the rock climbing wall.

(Ash part way up in the gray shorts)

...a little further.

Brooklen at the top.

Little blurry, but just for the record, that's Christian.

Of course, there was pool time and bike riding everyday, as well as a LOT of downtime. 

So fun to get to spend the week just having fun!

Happy Friday to you and yours!

Okay.....so if you don't know me well, you would have no way of knowing that I'm not a big animal fan.  I have no desire whatsoever to own one.  None.  Ever since I can remember, the thought of having a pet felt like nothing more than work to me. 

It's just how I'm wired. 

I can honestly say I've even tried to like animals.  It just doesn't happen.  Like when you go to visit someone, and they assume that you'll fall in love with the pet they've chosen to adore the moment you walk in their door.  Well, I won't.  I just won't.  I won't be mean to their pet, or yours for that matter.  But don't expect me to ooh and ah over your "darling" animal.

God saw fit to bless me with a daughter who LOVES animals!  And I do mean LOVES!  I wonder if He did it to be silly....almost as if He gets a kick out of seeing me squirm.  Here I am, the girl who has no interest in animals, with a little girl who begs constantly for another pet.  In a weak moment, I did give in and allow her a guinea pig.  I've wondered many times since then just exactly WHAT I was thinking.

 Soooooo

Earlier this week, we looked out the deck door, only to see a teeny tiny newborn kitten laying there.  Teeny tiny, as in maybe a couple of days old.  My heart sank as I anticipated Brooklen's (aka. animal lover) response, and she did NOT disappoint.  Immediately she began questioning what she could do to help the little thing, and in my ignorance, I did my best to redirect her attention.  Yeah....good luck with that one.

Eventually, my mother heart gave in when I realized that the mamma cat was laying dead on the road.  I'm not really sure how the baby ended up on our deck, but here was this poor little orphan that needed someone to care for it, and I knew Brooklen would be more than happy about taking that on.  So, we began feeding her with a dropper....Brooklen sleeping in the living room to care for her through the night.....feeling proud of her mothering skills.  She called me several times at work today to ask me some questions - you know, the seasoned animal care giver I am - and all seemed to be going well.

UNTIL....

I came home from work today and was looking at the little thing....I said looking, not holding, and I noticed these white spots in it's fur.  Upon closer inspection, I became a little freaked out, being more and more convinced that the "white spots" where quite possibly worms of some sort.  I googled it, and sure enough.....I'm pretty sure worms are a good possibility.

I called a local vet to ask some questions.  (She probably wondered what kind of a moron she was speaking with because of some of the questions I was asking.)  Now, I'm more convinced than ever that we're "doing" worms around here.  Uggghhh!  

So, what does this mom-who-doesn't-do-pets do?  She starts anticipating what de-worming this little kitten means.  We have to wait several weeks because the kitten is too little to start the process now.  Apparently, worms are common in kittens which is one more good reason why I have no desire for one.

But, guess what....like it or not, I think I have one.
  

Reminiscing....
that's something we're good at here.
Not because I am,
but because my husband is, and he's taught me.

I love when we do it.
Last night was one of those times.
We spent the evening looking back four years ago
to a vary dark time in our lives...
celebrating how far we've come since then.

It involved a lawyer's office
and a courthouse.
For, you see,
four years ago we had a child-support hearing
that included both of those.
A hearing between he and I.

I remember it beng a chilly December day.  We hadn't seen each other in nearly two months.  It had been decided that we would meet a little early outside the courthouse to ease meeting in person again.  However, due to getting three small children out the door, I ended up arriving just on time.....

I recall walking into the courthouse and seeing him - the man I'd been married to for the past 11 years - sitting across the room.  It was so awkward having to ease my way through the metal detectors, trying to be polite to the security personnel, all the while knowing my husband was sitting across the room.

It was such a shock!  Seeing him again!  He had lost nearly 60 pounds, mainly due to going into a deep depression after I had moved out.  It was a hard choice for me.  A choice we both will now tell you was what saved us....our home....our relationship.  But, nevertheless, it had rocked his world to the point of not caring for himself in that he couldn't bring himself to eat, or when he did, it was very little.

We said hello.  Then just kept looking at each other.  It's the weirdest thing in the world for your spouse to have become somewhat of a stranger!  He later told me how much it struck him how beautiful he thought I looked when I walked through the door. 

We filled out the necessary paper work, and waited for the hearing to begin.  We had spoken ahead of time, and agreed about what we thought would be a reasonable amount of money for him to give me.  I remember sitting there, feeling guilty about asking for money to care for our children....having to work through recognizing that it was okay.  My husband had faithfully given us money from the time I left, but I was encouraged by others that it would still be wise to have a legal binding, calling him to accountability, if he were to ever change his mind.

We were very cordial to each other, and afterwards went to Ruby Tuesdays.  I remember being relieved when it was over and I could just go home.  I recall feeling sad for him, knowing I was able to go home to our kids and resume life more normally because they filled my time, while he would be going home to an empty house.  It was hard!

Now here we are, four years later....
walking the street,
walking by the lawyer's office and the courthouse,
sipping cappuccino,
talking about what was going on in each of our heads,
talking about the ways healing has come to each of our lives,
realizing that we have a long way to go,
but feeling gratitude for all of the evidence of God's grace in our lives.

It's been quite a journey! 

I hesitate to share because of those that may feel the need to secretly stand back
and feel superior about what life has handed them.  
I hesitate to share because I fear Satan's attack on us
as I'm raising my hand to celebrate the victories in our life.

But I'm going to share anyway....
at least in bits-n-pieces...
because I want to celebrate the good in our lives!
The fact that we are reminiscing
together
about the hard,
about the way God's hand has moved in our lives.

I just had to use this picture for my Christmas header!
It's my all time favorite picture of my girls...
My little girls,
taken six years ago.

I think of all the things that have taken place in our lives since then.
Some good,
others not so good.
But to imagine that all of those things,
the good,
the bad,
the ugly,
first passed through the fingers of our Father!

My mind traveled from those thoughts
onto the Christmas story...
and settled with Mary
and how she must have felt through the upheaval of her life.
I'm certain rearing the Messiah
wasn't something she had anticipated. 
I have this little fantasy in my mind
of what I imagine it to have been like.
I think the cozy little picture I envision is far from accurate!
After all, this wasn't something she picked either.
the beauty is in her response.
When she was chosen,
she responded with obedience,
The stress she must have experienced
isn't something I often think about.

And she was 13!!!!
THIRTEEN!
That
is
my
daughter's
age!
What an awesome responsibility for such a young girl!
...and yet it was she who was chosen.

Chosen to be the mother of our Savior.

Chosen to embrace a role she new nothing about.

Chosen to follow with dignity a calling that few would recognize as just that....
a role of honor and dignity.

And then in return...
SHE chose.

Chose to grasp the opportunity to fulfill a calling that only a woman could fill.

Chose to move ahead into mothering a son who would one day die to save her soul.

Chose to give up the opinions of others in order that she might accomplish the purpose for which she was born.

As I stop to think of her
I feel a kinship with her.
Kinship in that she was a woman...just like me.
...a girl-next-door kind of girl.
Kinship in that she had hopes and dreams...just like me.
...who had to give up good dreams to embrace God's desire.
Kinship in that she followed blindly...just like me.
...taking each step in faith that God would continue to show her the next one.
Kinship in that she had
hopes
and fears
and dreams
and yet...
unlike me,
she was a vital part of the plan that has offered me the gift of salvation!

Wow....what a woman!
I only hope I would have been so obedient.